Fear of Failure

Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided to not even try it?

Has a fear of failure ever stopped you even thinking about starting something?

Making a lifestyle change.  Changing a deep-rooted habit. Beginning a new project.  Deciding to switch career-path.

Many of us have experienced this at one time or another.  I know I have experienced this more than once.  In many different situations, I have become my own worst barrier. 

Have you?

Have you ever experienced a reluctance to try something new?

Do you struggle with excessive procrastination, excessive anxiety or avoid following through on goals?

Do you negatively self-talk, catching yourself telling yourself statements such as, ‘I’ll never be good enough to get that promotion’, or ‘I’ll never compare to ...’

Do you, like I have done, only show willingness to try things that you’ll know you’ll finish perfectly and successfully.

It can be immobilising.  It can halt progress, make us do nothing and resist moving forward.  But this makes us miss opportunities.  Makes us able to grow, to evolve.

Why do we fear failure? Why do we get in our own way?

To identify the causes of fear of failure, we first need to understand what ‘failure’ actually means.  This in itself, is difficult.  By definition, ‘failure’ is a lack success.  But why, then, is failure to one person debilitating where the same situation might simply be a great learning experience for someone else.

More often than not, it’s not the lack of success that we fear, though.  It is the perceived negative consequences that follow the failure.  These can lead to lowered self-esteem, avoiding challenging tasks, becoming pessimistic and taking out emotional frustrations on those around you.  These snowball and you readjust how you see yourself, and your loved ones may ultimately lose interest.

But we can choose.  We can choose to see failure as the end of the world.  We can choose to see failure as proof of just how inadequate we are.  Or, we can look at failure as the learning experience that it has the potential to be.

Every time we fail at something, we can choose to see the lesson that we’re meant to learn. This is how we can grow.  This is how we can prevent ourselves from making future mistakes.  How we discover our strengths, our motivations, how to accept ourselves fully.  This is how we can seize the opportunities that we might have missed.

So how do we get there?

How can we reduce the fear of failing?

1.  Analyse all potential outcomes.  Remove the fear of the unknown by considering all of the potential outcomes of your decision.

2.  Explore the worst-case scenario.  In some cases, the worst-case scenario may be genuinely a disaster, but that is typically not the case. Recognising, acknowledging the worst-case scenario might not be that bad.

In doing so, question your fears.  Are your fears, in fact, irrational and unlikely to come true?

3.  Have a contingency plan.  Have a ‘Plan B’. If it will help you feel more secure and confident, have a Plan B in place to help you feel more confident about moving forward.

When setting your back up plan, know that you are focusing on what you can control. 

4.  Focusing on what you can control can help prevent nerves and feelings of stress.  Focusing on what you can control can give you a sense of certainly and confidence.  Focus on the process itself, not just the end outcome of a task.  Focus on your effort, your attitude, how organised you are.

4.  Set small goals.  If you struggle with a fear of failure, then you might feel uncomfortable with setting larger goals, or setting goals at all.  But goals can support us with purpose, with direction. 

Instead of focusing on the ‘bigger picture’, set small challenges, attainable but still challenging. Use these as ‘mini wins’ to help build your confidence.  If you’re aiming for a job promotion, make an aim of introducing yourself to senior members of your work team. If you’re looking to lose weight, focus first on removing triggers from your food cupboards.  If you’re wanting to improve your sleep, focus on getting into bed at the same time every day.  One small goal, then you can worry about another once this habit is set.

Maintaining a series of smaller achievements will help you continually move forwards and will prevent you from becoming overwhelmed.

Gradually, you’ll learn about yourself.  Steadily, you’ll overcome your fear.  With time, you’ll progress in your journey.

#findyourformula